Age-20
[ I ]
Y'all lost in the city of sci-blocks
Mixing and mastering all the beats to beat your younger self
But nothing works when you sleeps with stan
Because he doesn't pardon your lies, even there is no button to minimize
Apprently, I was thrown , Adhrit reached at some height
But in reality he cann't survive, So with all dignity he must die
Miracles wouldn't happen when one's dead, now it's code work to walk from graves
mortals tell you nothing because they are woke.
There is no question left for soul ^^loser!!
who can't see through the mist
all accept my pardon.
[ II ]
I was such a wasted
Rejected, Unexpected, brutally murdered and paralaysed
breathing chemicals and wearing salions
protesting against one's mind
hormons you can't resist
aren't motive of intellect
price must be paid whether with soul or chirs
Oh! damn, I can't see with my eyes
I need to prepare a little
mostly via magic and spell
don't become another prostitute
neither fuck your hands or another soul
love never found
or my lover died in pendamic
all subject of my mind.
[ III ]
I know I am nothing
But I know hole is the greatest thing ever to find.
Pournig the dust into ditch
body not accepting smokes and wines
I think I need to quit
Don't pardon me for my crimes.
I deserve more pain
more pain enough to mesmerize into her memories.
But the question is "Who is her?"
I hope no one will find my dark secret.
You are a lie, a persona of bribe
I am robotman with sting penis in size
Clouds will come and give me place
I guess messiah has arrived!!
well said!!
Petals
[ I ]
Forgive me , I can't stay all night in your dreams,
Watching your rose petals with mournful beams,
God of Time requesting me to endure more and more,
thou spirits cheering with diabolic reems.
As I see more of you,
we came together on bed of cosmos
Dancing through lives and deaths,
Adjoining stars and moons
We are becoming thyself, losing ourselves.
[ II ]
Your lewdness, your curls, your scent, your enigma
all burning suns.
I can't let you vanish in deep forest of galaxies,
promised to your alluring womanhood.
Thou, Sun has cut out my throat,
So I can't speak.
Magnetic pearls plunging from your eyes,
are symbols of Saturn's grieves,
Forgive me, herra , if i can’t speak.
Blue suite and cheeze songs,
All explode fires in metals,
Keels , vampires and matters,
I love to feel your Petals.
[ III ]
Likewise Elizabeth and Mr. Darcy,
our chemistry as Sherlock and Moriarty.
We can seperate but can't die different.
Nonetheless, life without you, doesn't matter.
Like forest gump, you runs in my mind
without you , the universe is blind.
Your white spirit, your petals redolence, your moving tilts
can shrug agonies of god's world.
Grace, Juliet and Jane all neath you,
You are bewildering fire of my heart.
You are Mery’s favourite petal.
Come and disdain my pain,
My petal, I am here, recumbencing on Eve’s puddle.
End!!
I just kept imaging, we walking in Boston streets with cold deadly breeze. The sparkling sunshine, decorating lavendar petals lying on roadside puddles and if somebody noticed us standing there, we would be the freaks just roaming there.
Transformation
[ I ]
Trauma never heals, as you can’t see it until tears appeals.
I’ve never seen burn down faces, only red therapists.
Ripped off, shit on couch, and never lied,
I see faces around corners in my house,
Mom’d seen red lady twice before I uprise.
Dogs barks in dark , gate hollowcasts whole night.
[ II ]
We don’t know what happened that night,
As I write this verse , feels like creative inside me died.
Don’t be so hard on yourself, you need doctor,
Enginnering’s verge are same as tenth grade geometry and protector.
What hurts most ?
[ III ]
Everyone flying off to dreamland, or she fled to your dreamland without you.
I thought off getting started tomorrow, demons hits hard me in the morning,
not able to get up from bed till six in evening,
Nor I fell asleep neither I died.
Every passing moment , fading off my pride.
I don’t take moral supplements,
Crowd passing judgments with compliments.
[ IV ]
What’s wrong with this kid,
What will he do without societal adjustments,
Die on roads, and living with worms
I’ll become the greatest god ever alive,
cause I’d planned to never die.
I altereted my sense with unconsciousness,
Am I Godsend or Am I God?
This is transformation.
Winning
[ I ]
Race fast in your mind, how you want brain and success bind.
Near possession of knowledge, I think it’s time to recalled,
What I imagined , why all this started,
Why choose the path of solitude,
Why I departed from world
What I want to be, is the question of novelty
[ II ]
Keep priorities first listen,
In the game of soul, making contributions nil.
To heavy air of desert, from happy air of seashore
For the bronze age mental posture,
To the point on which happiness can’t be captured
Listening to great many podcasts,
To detoxing all substances from my mind
To all sacrifices , all honors, all gambling
we only desire for winning.
[ III ]
What is winning, and why you want to win?
Is there any great reason?
Notary with cultivate session,
Vanity in all over recession,
Inflation between you and your passion,
you might need some succession,
There is where you caught up with winning.
Winning
[ IV ]
For all the mornings , I’d spent on cycles
To catch up with top faces in my mind
wait , were they really brilliant people?
or it was just me making them whatever they were?
I don’t know, I still dream about them,
think of all them like gem with cream,
and myself a unbaked bread,
measured everything through classes grades.
It was totally stupidity or time’s crudity,
Please somebody save me with this insanity.
In nights I’m passing god with perfection , I see lights in reflections.
Five years of misery, gifted me this curiosity.
This was starting, that was winning.
Winning
[ V ]
Umm white page, makes me feel like kept in a cage..
Got this instinct into my bones,
If I’d not read for days,
My existence loses it’s weights.
For all the mornings, where I ride the bicycle,
The dreams I knitted in those early spans,
The chatters of night angles is still in my mind
I see myself exerting my rides,
With water on my sights.
Felt that road calling me this morning,
Life gives you bumpers without warning.
I see why I did whatever I did?
Was there any specific goal?
That I want to achieve or it was just mockery of time,
With the burning desire to castle my prime.
Now I think it all was pretty useless,
Because It all went wrong from many places
But I still dreams of jewels,
Not made of gold or metals
But from unshattered manhood and battles.
How the battle of mount Zemaraim won by the King,
Think ,act and evolve thoughts of winning.
Winning
[ VI ]
I was 19 , when my parents left me,
Because my behaviour was to absurd for normal humans.
Early glimpse of everyday’s sun,
Reminds me of normal life,
And I always look on the bright side of my hands,
To abolish the whole acquaintance.
Self doubt , little bit of proud and procrastination,
Drown me to the lowest point of manifestation.
Apparently it became a pattern,
Which I will crack with disruption.
I haven’t done yet, there is still some time,
O god damn! why I think winning is mine.
Winning
[ VII ]
Demons startled to slave me
I cried if is there anybody to
save me?
I suffixed all the charity,
With the purpose of mindful therapy.
Huge combat to transcend mediocrity.
But was I ready make it reality,
There was still imperfection in my soul, heart,
“How to do it”was the only question I asked.
How to do it!!!!
Do remember when you used to be top of the herd?
With low efforts and bad handwriting excel in every competition.
It is symbol of swindle, saving you from swapping kindles;
Protest against yourself in order to proceed,
Yourself is the only one who stops to succeed.
Failures are reminiscent of where I wanna go, what I used to be,
And what I had to become in this endless journey.
Winning!!